diving right on in...

i posted this on the ds forum. just wanted a record of it here...


*** please no flames!!! ***

ok so i normally wouldn't do this, lols, but LeaAnn invited me over and thought maybe you guys would be able to help me out. basically, i'm hoping y'all might be able to help me STOP LOSING WEIGHT! (weird, huh?)

a little background info first: i had lap rny (yeah, yeah... i know. but hey, it's what my insurance paid for and it's in the past so let's just move on from there, m'kay? ) anywho, had lap rny on 11-27-06. i'm 5'0" and weighed 254 at that time. here i am now, 13 months out and down 146 pounds to 108. (well, that's what i weighed thursday anyway. i've been afraid to get on the scale since then )

at 26 days out i had a perf'd ulcer that required emergency surgery and a subsequent 2 week hospital stay. the sutures to repair the "hole" actually cinched my pouch to an even smaller size than it was to begin with. then i developed scar tissue on top of that which made my pouch even smaller than that. (i understand that ds'ers don't have a "pouch" so this may not make sense to some people but basically, my newly created stomach was originally made to be 1 - 1 1/2 ounces in size and stretches from there. BUT, "MY" newly created stomach is smaller than that. it has stretched since then but it's still much smaller than most rny'ers.)

i've also had 3 strictures and am currently nursing my fourth AND i've had my gall bladder removed and an internal hernia repaired. so... i haven't had such an easy time of it. i'm not complaining though and i certainly wouldn't ever bash the tool that has given me my life back. but now i'm at a point where i'm DONE but i can't seem to make it STOP! my surgeon and nut have both pretty much stated that they aren't concerned UNTIL i become underweight. "UNTIL"!!! not "if", UNTIL!!!

now keep in mind that i'm really short so 108 is still technically a "healthy" weight for me (bmi wise) and i'm not complaining about being tiny. BUT, i don't want to lose any more. i could actually get down to 96 pounds and still be considered "healthy" because of my height! but i wouldn't be too terribly upset if i somehow managed to get back up to my original goal weight of 123 even though that's at the high end of the normal bmi range for me, but i certainly wouldn't ever want to go ABOVE 123. (i guess that's the real goal here, huh? to somehow manage to stay "healthy"? not too high and not too low.)

so... LeaAnn thought it might be helpful for me to learn to "eat like a ds'er". (LOLS!!!) any tips? advice? keep in mind though that i cannot eat very much at a time so in order for me to get in everything that i "need" each day, i pretty much eat constantly from 8am-5pm. seriously, i plan and portion out everything that i know i have to have each day either the night before or the morning of and i start eating from the time i get to work until it's time for me to go home. some days i finish in time, some days i have to take stuff home with me and work on it some more. (some days i don't even finish.)

and i'm totally not exaggerating here, ok? so please don't patronize me and tell me to snack in between meals. i don't have meals because i don't have time for meals. i am constantly chewing up food. i am CONSTANTLY eating. there is no time in between meals (unless you count trips to the bathroom) but i DO have "snack foods" mixed in with what i am supposed to have. here's todays menu and yes, it's going to take me 9 hours of constant eating and drinking in order to get it all in:

1/4 cup kraft shredded sharp cheddar cheese
24 club puffed multi-grain crackers
1 dannon activia light raspberry yogurt
3 oz. tuna w/fibersure
4 oz. bumble bee bbq chicken breast
1 strawberry flavored 50 gram slam
2 k2o protein waters
1 servings v8 splash tropical blend
16 oz. milo's splenda tea
12 oz. diet dr. pepper

955 calories
19 g. fat (18%)
88 g. carbs (30%)
120 g. protein (52%)
1760 mg.sodium
20 g. fiber
83 oz. liquids

and in addition to that i'm sure i'm going to have a few hershey's kisses (probably 3 because they're red, green and silver foil and i have to have one of each since i'm so incredibly ocd...) and maybe one or two reese's hearts (LOVES those things!) and possibly some other sweet stuff and maybe some alcohol tonight since it's new year's eve. BUT, my quantities will be MUCH smaller than anyone else's so i seriously doubt that my calories will go over 1200 today, even though i'm already so close to 1000. (and i'm thinking i may not be able to get all that in today. it's already almost 10am and i've only gotten in my cheese and crackers so far.)

oh yeah, and i DO dump... somewhat. if i eat too much of something sweet or carby then i'll and then and then so i have to space the sweets/carbs out if i'm going to have them at all. (btw, check out my blog if you wanna see lotsa pics. i have a whole collage up from pre-op to current.)

so yeah, thanks in advance for any help/advice any of y'all may be able to offer. some of y'all have already given me great suggestions on the wls grads board and i really appreciate that and i'll be talking to my pcp probably next week when she comes back into the office about that digestive enzyme, etc.

so then why do i feel like such a little piggie??

ok, you guys remember me posting earlier this week/last week about how i've lost so much and eat constantly yet i continue to lose? well i decided last night that i was going to cut back on the snacks until i could completely eliminate them and i was going to concentrate on the things i "need" again instead of straying off course and possibly sabotaging myself in the long run. i know y'all remember seeing my pics from yesterday but i'll post them here again because the big question is, "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SUCH A LITTLE PIGGIE????"


so, this is what i've eaten so far today:

1/4 cup kraft shredded cheddar cheese
24 crackers (one serving) club puffed multi-grain crackers
1 container dannon activia light peach yogurt w/fibersure added in
3 hershey's kisses
4 peanut m&m's
12 oz. can diet dr. pepper


and this is what i still have left to eat for today:

bumble bee brand bbq chicken breast
3 oz. tuna w/fibersure added in
strawberry flavored 50 gram slam
1 cup chef's salad
12 oz. milo's splenda tea
2 16 oz. bottles of water


and that makes my intake look like this for the day:

825 calories
19g fat (21%)
58g carbs (24%)
110g protein (55%)
20g fiber
72 oz. fluids



according to everything i've been taught, this is absolutely PERFECT (minus the m&m's, hershey's kisses and the diet dr. pepper of course...) so why, if i'm only eating these things today and if it's RIGHT and if i look like THIS... WHY do i feel like such an effing PIG!!!!!

13 months, waddaya get?

i don't have the measurements that go along with this but i wanted to go ahead and put the pics up. i'll post the measurements after lunch when i can find my tape measure and take them all.

anywho though, as of this morning i am exactly 13 months out from lap rny and i weigh 108 which is 15 pounds below my goal and 146 pounds below my starting weight of 254. this also puts me at exactly the same bmi as bettie page :~P (too bad i don't look like her when i'm all nakey!) actually, now that i'm down so small my body looks like a wax figure that somebody propped up too close to the fireplace, lols!! omgs, my rear end and my thighs, stomach and boobs are SCARY looking! here's the pics. enjoy and leave me lotsa lovins'! :~D

and check out my jeans and blouse! the jeans are from the children's section at target, size 14 (got those on lunch yesterday) and the blouse is a size xs from target.

okies y'all, imma gettin' a lil bit skeered now

okies, so i'm 5'0", pre-op i weighed 254 (11-27-06). tomorrow will be exactly 13 months since i had my surgery and as of TODAY i've lost 145 pounds. yup, you've got it folks, i weighed 109 as of first thing this morning!

i am no longer TRYING to lose weight, i eat everything under the sun pretty much (chocolate, chips and candy included!!! but i always make sure i get in what i "need" in addition to these little "extra treats".) and i don't exercise at all any more (i'm skeered to now! i'm afraid that'll make me lose EVEN MORE!) and yet i'm still losing weight! what tha crap's going on here???

so my nutritionist told me to keep doing what i'm doing and keep in touch with him but that he's not going to be concerned until i get underweight. (not "if" i get underweight but rather, "until"!) because i'm so short i would have to be 95 pounds to be "underweight" (96 is the very lowest i could be and still have a "healthy" bmi) BUT, that's only 14 pounds away! and i'm still losing anywhere from 6-9 pounds a month!!

yes, the weightloss HAS slowed down significantly (i'm no longer losing 11-17 pounds/month) BUT it's still coming off pretty fast for someone who eats as much junk as i do. so my question to you guys is this, "NOW WHAT??????"

possible obstruction? anyone have any info?

i'm not too sure but i think i may have an obstruction. i have a call in to my surgeon but in the meantime i wondered if anyone here could give me some information just for my own peace of mind. (or offer up any other possibilities.) here's the deal...

11-27-07 was my one year surgiversary and i weighed 115. then on saturday, 12-8-07 i weighed 114.0 but somehow by monday, 12-10-07 i weighed 117. ok, no big deal. i'm not really concerned about the weight because it's still within a healthy weight range for my height. then yesterday morning (i REFUSE to step on the scale today!!!) i weighed 121 which is approximately a 7 pound GAIN in 9 days.

i haven't changed my eating pattern (i'm very strict with my intake) and i haven't changed anything in my exercise routine (i don't exercise, lols!!) AND it isn't time for my period either because that happened two weeks ago. (plus i usually lose just before my period anyway.) i don't think i'm constipated because i've been having bm's about every 2-3 days so that's why i'm not sure if it's an obstruction or not. BUT, when i go i usually have to "help it along" a bit with chocolate ex-lax and it takes 6 squares at one time in order to produce a bm. (normal adult dosage is 1-2 squares once or twice daily.)

i had my girlfriend take a picture of me this morning so i could compare it to my one year pics and see how swollen my abdomen is. (i'll attach that at the bottom of this post so y'all can see.) i'm not having any pain besides gas pains but my abdomen sure does stick out now, even with compression pantyhose and a corset. see for yourself...



also, here's a pic of my abdomen with me laying down. the first one was taken on 12-8 and you can see my ribs and hipbones and how my pajama bottoms don't even touch my stomach since they rest on top of my hipbones. the second one (on the bottom) was taken last night and you really can't even see my hipbones or ribs anymore because of how swollen my abdomen is now.

1 year ago today...

one year ago today i was reborn. dr. facundus and dr. foreman gave me my life back and for that i am eternally grateful. no amount of thanks or praise will ever convey to them what this has meant to me and what it continues to mean to me on a daily basis. i can't even begin to express the extent of my gratitude...



















here's the measurements that go along with this...

first pic (brown shirt & pink skirt ~ before)
weight: 254
bmi: 49.6
bust: 43 1/2"
waist: 44"
hips: 56 1/2"
buttocks: 57 1/2"
thighs: 34 1/2"
upper arms: 16 1/2"

last pic (khaki pants with fall sweater 11/27/07)
weight: 115
bmi: 22.5
bust: 30"
waist: 27"
hips: 35 1/2"
buttocks: 36 1/2"
thighs: 20"
upper arms: 10"

so that means i've lost
weight: 139
bmi: 27.1
bust: 13 1/2"
waist: 17"
hips: 21"
buttocks: 21"
thighs: 14 1/2"
upper arms: 6 1/2"
for a grand total of 93 1/2"

is this a wow moment?

this is the outfit i wore to thanksgiving at katie's grandparent's house. the turtleneck is a size small from cato's and the skirt is size 16 CHILDREN'S from cato's!!! and the waist is HUGE on me!!!!

11 months and GOAL!!!! and rockin' the butterfly costume ;~)

yesterday was 11 months since i had lap rny. as of yesterday, i have lost 131 pounds and REACHED MY GOAL of 123 pounds!! :~D here's a pic of the scale and another one showing my body fat percentage just to prove that i actually MADE it, haha!!

AND, here's a pic of some of my extra skin (i even took the time to label it for ya ;~) just to prove that i may look great but it hasn't been without it's consequences. sorry if this offends anyone but hey, the truth hurts!



also, katie and i went to dan's halloween party last night. it was at his sister's mother-in-law's house (i think) instead of dan's house since he no longer lives in decatur. some of you may remember that last year i went as wednesday addams...



this was a month before i had my lap rny and i weighed 254 pounds. this year i went to the party as a beautiful pink butterfly weighing in at 123 pounds...



isn't the difference just incredible!!?! and yeah, i had to get the butterfly costume out of the children's section because the adult costumes were just too big!!!



anywho, here's this month's pics and measurements. and THIS is what it looks like to be at GOAL!!!! :~D


















here's the measurements that go along with this...

first pic (brown shirt & pink skirt ~ before)
weight: 254
bmi: 49.6
bust: 43 1/2"
waist: 44"
hips: 56 1/2"
buttocks: 57 1/2"
thighs: 34 1/2"
upper arms: 16 1/2"

last pic (pink turtleneck sweater with size 3 old navy khakis 10/27/07)
weight: 123
bmi: 24.0
bust: 31"
waist: 26 1/2"
hips: 35"
buttocks: 37"
thighs: 20"
upper arms: 10"

so that means i've lost
weight: 131
bmi: 25.6
bust: 12 1/2"
waist: 17 1/2"
hips: 21 1/2"
buttocks: 20 1/2"
thighs: 14 1/2"
upper arms: 6 1/2"
for a grand total of 93"

some gif's of me

me at kensie's birthday party. 9-23-06. 2 months pre-op, 254 lbs.

my before/current gif




a gif of my progression to date