she pisses me off so damn bad!!!

*sigh* i want to choke my girlfriend. i love her to pieces but sometimes (99.99% of the time...) she can be the biggest fucking BABY!

so we're in the midst of moving, right? and i spent my entire vacation week working on things in the garage (going through stuff from our LAST move and getting rid of things/putting things in storage so we won't have so much clutter and won't have so much to deal with when we move) and then when we got the u-haul truck last weekend (not the most recent one but the one before that) i spent all day saturday loading the damn thing and then did everything sunday as well (except for loading the freezer, washer and dryer ~ i had help with those things) and THEN i UNLOADED the truck by myself sunday night with the exception of the freezer, washer and dryer. (and she bitched, moaned and complained about THAT too!! wtf yo??!? that's what she DOES! she works for rent-a-center and moves freezers, washers and dryers BY HERSELF every day!!!)

katie is off work on wednesdays and she keeps promising me that she's going to spend all of that day at the old house packing and loading up the car and moving things to the new house. well, last week she didn't feel good. she had an appointment with some place to get groceries and she also went to see her psych doctor. then instead of going to the old house and packing and moving things she decided to stay at the NEW house and rearrange the things that i had already unpacked and placed in the house. WTF??? we need to finish getting all of our stuff over here and THEN we can worry about where we want to put it! just fucking GET IT HERE first!!!

well then this past saturday i spent several trips going back and forth between the old and new houses BY MYSELF because katie was working and then when she got off work i asked her if we could make one more trip before going home and relaxing and she swore to me that if we could just go home then we'd make an EXTRA trip the next day to make up for it. then sunday rolled around and we slept in (personally, i was exhausted! and katie ~ well obviously she just really doesn't give two shits about this move.) then when we got up we didn't have time to move anything because we had to go to decatur to spend the day with kensie since she hasn't been home in forever and we miss her like crazy. and when we got home from that we watched a movie and then i went to work at 10pm (homebuyers weekend, yay!!!) and worked until 2:30am and then went home and went to bed. so, no trips on sunday at all!

then monday and tuesday after work i made two trips between the two houses BY MYSELF and had the car jam packed with stuff so i could get a lot done. so it's wednesday again. katie's off work. we have until thursday night to finish this or we have to pay extra rent. (prorated but still...) so i'm at work and katie's bitching and moaning and complaining about how we need to take a break and we need time to relax and blah blah blah and she doesn't feel good, she's dizzy, she's nauseated, she lost her balance and fell down, etc, etc, etc.

ok here's the deal. pretty much everything is already in boxes. all she has to do right now is put those boxes in the car, drive to the new house, take those boxes OUT of the car and then go back to the old house and do it again. if she loads the car up right she should be finished with the bedrooms and bathrooms (and possibly the kitchen, den and living room too!) in 3 trips. 4 max! and then that just leaves the garage for me to deal with (3-4 trips as well.)

well she drove me to work at 8am this morning and i assumed that she was going right on over to the old house to get started. no. that didn't happen. she didn't go over there until about 11:30-11:45 and then immediately started texting me and telling me that she doesn't feel good. she's such a damn drama queen! she hasn't finished even ONE trip yet! in fact, she hasn't even loaded the car up! and then she texted me and said that she lost her balance and fell. i didn't respond because i have better things to do right now than to try to placate her by offering her platitudes. then she sent another one that said "you there?" so i asked her if she was okay and she said that yes but she wishes her new meds would kick in. (her psych doctor put her on a new med last week and instead of going out and filling it she waited until YESTERDAY to fill it!!! and hasn't been on any mood medication AT ALL in the meantime so she's going through withdrawals from her other med too!) and then said said that yeah she's ok but she doesn't know how much she can get done but that she's going to try.

so i was in the middle of texting her back and trying to give her a pep talk and some direction so she isn't just standing around there picking her nose and she sent me two texts back to back that said "o my god i am going home and crying i am so sick" "and i am so damn fat i just broke this white chair on the front porch" when i asked her wtf, what happened and if she's okay she said "i just completely blacked out"

basically what those texts mean is that she was overwhelmed by the amount of work that we still have to do and was feeling lazy and didn't want to deal with it so she's faking an illness and exaggerating the little things that DO happen. like, she probably DID lose her balance and fall. and she probably DID break the chair when she fell. but i doubt she blacked out. and i ESPECIALLY doubt that she COMPLETELY blacked out. she just doesn't want to work on the move. plain and simple. so now i'm going to have to bust my ass today and tomorrow to try and finish up so we don't have to pay any extra rent because obviously it's all on my damn shoulders which pisses me the fuck off!!!!!

my commitment to better health

here lately i've noticed that the carb monster has had a strangle-hold on me as well as the chocolate demon and i've got to stop that in it's tracks. i've gained a bit of weight (thanks to my new migraine med, elavil) and i want to fix this before it gets out of hand. (i've only gained 10 pounds but still, that's 10 pounds more than i like to see. it could all be water weight but i really think this carb/chocolate issue needs to be dealt with asap.)

my plan is pretty much to try to get back to basics and cut out the unnecessary carbs and sweets (<--always been a downfall of mine) and get back into the swing of exercising when we finish moving. we’ll be done moving by this weekend regardless but i’m hoping that we can wrap it up tomorrow night. we’ll see though i guess.

so i went to the grocery store last night and bought some protein shakes because i was out and didn’t feel like messing with powdered protein. my meal plan for the next 3 weeks will consist of the following (and yeah, i mean every single solitary day. i might mix up WHEN i have each thing but this will be my intake for the next 3 weeks.)

breakfast:
1 slice kraft deli deluxe swiss cheese
1 kellogg’s all-bran fiber bar apple cinnamon
1 24-ounce fiber drink

snack:
eas advantedge carb control chocolate fudge shake

lunch:
3 ounces of tuna with light mayo, shredded sharp cheddar cheese, kraft classic melts four cheese, oscar mayer ready to serve real bacon pieces
1 24-ounce fiber drink
1 12-ounce diet pepsi

snack:
eas advantedge carb control frensh vanilla shake

dinner:
3 ounces of tuna with light mayo, shredded sharp cheddar cheese, kraft classic melts four cheese, oscar mayer ready to serve real bacon pieces
1 24-ounce fiber drink

totals:
calories 1200
fat 48 g
sodium 3850 mg
carbs 133 g
fiber 90 g
protein 121 g

this is exactly on target for calories but everything else is a bit high. i usually aim for these goals:

calories 600-1200
fat 10-40 g
sodium less than 2,000 mg
carbs 40-80 g
protein 60-120

but the carbs are mostly fiber so i don’t stress about those too much because i NEED the fiber. the protein is at the high end of my goals but it’s okay because i’m trying to build muscle right now anyway. and the fat grams are just barely outside of my range so that doesn’t concern me and the sodium is okay too. i’ve been having light headed spells a lot lately and was told to increase my sodium anyway so that’s fine.

i don’t really have time for exercising right now because of the move but i AM spending a lot of time moving boxes and furniture and packing/unpacking so i guess that might count a little... but when we’re finished i will be walking my dog AT LEAST one hour every day (gonna shoot for two though) and will also be doing weight training at the ymca every monday, wednesday and friday and will be spending every sunday (all day) at point mallard which is the local water park. idk if that counts as exercise or not (LOL) but it sure is a lotta fun!!!

anywho, hopefully by the end of the 3 weeks i won't have such a craving for carbs and chocolate anymore and will be back at my maintenance weight again. this isn't a "diet" or anything either. this is very filling for me and actually makes me HAVE to eat CONSTANTLY just in order to get it all in. this will keep my hands and mouth busy and my pouch full, will meet my nutritional requirements AND won't leave very much room for anything else

btw, does anybody else drink the eas advantedge carb control shakes? i just came across these at wal-mart last night and i'm in love!! these are a bit more (quantity-wise) than my 50 gram slams but the taste is similar and the price is a bit better so i think i'll probably be sticking with these for awhile.

a little white lie?

so yeah, i lied. i posted a thread on oh.com today that claimed that i am 103 pounds when in fact i am 113 pounds. but i WAS 103 pounds just three weeks ago (i swear i was. i even took a picture of the scale to prove it!!) but i've been taking elavil lately to help prevent my migraines and the neurologist warned me that it'll make me want to eat a lot and to be careful. and he wasn't kidding!!! seriously, EVERYTHING looks so yummy to me right now!! it's like i've got a bad case of the munchies or something, lols!!

i wasn't really all that concerned about it though because i was thinking i was getting to be too little for awhile there. but then i had katie take my 20 month out pics today and i compared them to the last time i had pics taken (at 18 months) and you can TELL that i'm 10 pounds heavier! you can SEE it in my butt, hips and thighs and i hate it. i want this 10 pounds GONE!!! originally i had said that i would be a-ok with gaining up to 20 pounds (to be at my original goal of 123) but now, looking at these pics, i'm not ok with that at all. 123 pounds is just too heavy for my 5'0" frame. i'm sorry, but it just is!

so, starting today i am going to be making a CONSCIOUS EFFORT to only eat what i NEED to be eating and to exercise. i will NOT be a slave to chocolate and carbs! i will NOT waste my coins in the vending machine! and i WILL NOT be a fat cow again!!!!!

gonna dot his eye!!!

i swear man, wtf's up with all the rude-ass people these days???

there's this guy (old man really) that works across the alley from where i work. every morning when katie drops me off in the alley beside our back door he comes FLYING up the alley and honks his horn at us and throws his hands up in the air like "wtf??!?"

my god man!! it takes me two seconds to get out of the car, gather my belongings and say goodbye to my girlfriend. you can't wait two seconds??? instead of having two seconds worth of patience you're gonna come flying up the alley and stop less than an inch from my back bumper (no lie dood!! less than a friggin' inch!!!) and honk your horn at me and yell obscenities and try to ruin MY day? oh HELLS no muthafucka!!! i'll dot yer eye old man!!! i'm 30 years old and i'll whoop yer ass ya sumbitch!!!!

pics from the memphis zoo this weekend