a little white lie?

so yeah, i lied. i posted a thread on oh.com today that claimed that i am 103 pounds when in fact i am 113 pounds. but i WAS 103 pounds just three weeks ago (i swear i was. i even took a picture of the scale to prove it!!) but i've been taking elavil lately to help prevent my migraines and the neurologist warned me that it'll make me want to eat a lot and to be careful. and he wasn't kidding!!! seriously, EVERYTHING looks so yummy to me right now!! it's like i've got a bad case of the munchies or something, lols!!

i wasn't really all that concerned about it though because i was thinking i was getting to be too little for awhile there. but then i had katie take my 20 month out pics today and i compared them to the last time i had pics taken (at 18 months) and you can TELL that i'm 10 pounds heavier! you can SEE it in my butt, hips and thighs and i hate it. i want this 10 pounds GONE!!! originally i had said that i would be a-ok with gaining up to 20 pounds (to be at my original goal of 123) but now, looking at these pics, i'm not ok with that at all. 123 pounds is just too heavy for my 5'0" frame. i'm sorry, but it just is!

so, starting today i am going to be making a CONSCIOUS EFFORT to only eat what i NEED to be eating and to exercise. i will NOT be a slave to chocolate and carbs! i will NOT waste my coins in the vending machine! and i WILL NOT be a fat cow again!!!!!