i'm doing what i CAN so lay off already!!

ok, just so's y'all know... i'm in a GREAT mood today (no really, i AM!!! i'm being totally serious right now, despite the angry smiley on my header...)

so over the weekend i got some pretty nasty emails and also some not-so-nice comments on previous threads, blogs, photos, etc and i just want to take a moment to address these issues.

1) YES, my avatar is ME.

2) NO, i do NOT like how i look.

3) i am TRYING to get help.

4) i AM under the care of SEVERAL physicians at this time.

5) i am NOT anorexic.

6) i am NOT bulimic.

7) i am NOT an attention seeker. i am a SUPPORT and HELP seeker.

8) i DO eat. in fact, i eat CONSTANTLY.

9) i am VERY AWARE of the nutrients that i am putting into my body and i attempt to consume the appropriate amounts of each nutrient on a daily basis.

10) i AM a lap rny patient and as such i DO belong here. whether you choose to support me in my quest to get healthy again is entirely up to you but PLEASE do NOT belittle me or attempt to scare me away from this site. i deserve support just as much as anyone else here.

now, with all that being said i feel like i should also take a moment to address the issue of my food consumption. i know i've stated this a hundred-billion times already but it is very difficult for me to get very much food into my pouch at one time. i had a perf'd ulcer at 26 days out. the repair surgery made my pouch EVEN SMALLER and then i developed scar tissue on top of that which again, made my pouch EVEN SMALLER! so, it takes me ALL DAY of CONSTANT EATING just to get in what i need each day. i am ALWAYS on the lookout for new products or new items that i hadn't considered before so that i may possibly be able to consume the nutrients that i need but in smaller quantities so that i might not have to be CONSTANTLY EATING for the rest of my life, ya dig?

these are the goals that my nutritionist set for me:

calories: 600-1000
fat: 10-40 g. (20-30%)
sodium: 0-2000 mg.
carbs: 40-80 g. (20-30%)
fiber: 20-35 g.
protein: 60-120 g. (50%)

this is my average for the past two weeks (and the past month, 6 months, year+ have all been pretty similar...)

calories: 1034
fat: 33 g.
sodium: 2365 mg.
carbs: 114 g.
fiber: 60 g.
protein: 106 g.

so you see??? i'm doing what i CAN and i'm actually SURPASSING a LOT of those goals!!! and what i haven't surpassed, i've at least MET so PLEASE!!! before you start telling me off and offering ill-gotten "advice" PLEASE know the full story m'kay? YES i have problems. YES i have LOTS of problems. and YES!!!! i AM seeking HELP for those problems!!! this isn't something that i can just snap my fingers and be magically cured of ok? it's a process. and i'm working on it. just because i've been griping about my problems for awhile now doesn't mean that i'm just sitting here griping and not doing anything, not taking anyone's advice, not seeking help, not FIXED YET!!!! i'm listening, ok? i HEAR everything that y'all are saying. and i'm WORKING ON IT!

please, if you're only going to try to make me feel bad with your reply then just go ahead and hit the block button located on the far right beneath this post. i'm sorry that i do not fit the "ideal" that we all hope to achieve with our various wls's. i sincerely apologize to any newbies that i may frighten with my appearance and my "problems". i didn't ask for this. this isn't something that happened to me consciously. "THINGS" happened, DOCTORS blew me off and gave me bad MEDICAL advice, I believed them, I trusted them, I did what they told me to do and now... here i am. so sorry if my presence offends you...

y'all have a great day now ya'hear?