i'm at peace now

i've been thinking and thinking and trying to get a game plan together and here's what i've decided to do. i'm currently in the process of getting my work samples together so that i might have a nice portfolio when this is all over with. and i've also got my resume together and have put out a few "feelers" to try and test the market and see what i can come up with *just in case* this actually happens.

i've decided that i'm going to basically ride it out and see what happens. several people in my department have already decided to jump ship and that means that they will be needing the remaining team members to pick up the slack in the meantime. so, that means overtime for me and several others until the "end". so i will accept this overtime and sock the extra funds away until i need it. they've also mentioned the possibility of a severance package but i have no idea at this point what exactly that would entail.

and IF it actually happens? **sigh** i guess i'll go apply for unemployment, food stamps, section 8, cma and any other assistance that i might possibly qualify for. and i guess while i'm waiting for that to happen i'll hit the library and look through all the old phone books for any advertising agencies in the surrounding areas, any publishing firms ~ ANYTHING that i can think of that would be in sync with what i already know and that could possibly provide an outlet for future professional growth. and in my spare time i guess i'll have that yard sale that i've been yapping about for months now, lol!!

heck i could probably live quite nicely on the earnings from that, lol! because i have practically an entire wardrobe ranging in sizes from 26 womens all the way down to 16 childrens (i currently wear a 12/14 childrens *usually*) and i also still have every toy we've EVER bought for my daughter from birth to present (and she's about to turn 9 so that's a whole heckuva lotta toys!!) not to mention all the little knick-knacks and do-dads that i have lying around. (i'm quite the pack rat in case you didn't already know! )

so in light of all the above, i think that we'll be "okay" for a little while. maybe this is really a blessing in disguise afterall. i mean hey, when else would i possibly be able to spend quality time with my daughter on a daily basis and STILL earn a paycheck (of sorts)??? i'm still concerned about the insurance bit but i reckon i'll just have to suck it up and shell out the extra $ for cobra coverage, expensive as it is... because i sure can't afford to be WITHOUT insurance, knowing how MY body is! so i guess i'll just consider this a nice long paid vacation and try to get my life in order in the meantime.

and did i mention that i'm at peace with all of this? i mean, not REALLY but considering the fact that it's pretty concrete at this point and there's no changing the big-wig's minds... i suppose it's best if i just accept the fact and DEAL with it. so i am. i'm grieving for the potential loss of my job and the loss of my tenure and the loss of the camaraderie that i have here with people who actually *GET* me (fellow graphic artists and newspaper employees... we have a unique sense of humor and sense of self and the general public just doesn't really understand i guess )

The five stages of grief are:

1-Denial

2-Anger

3-Bargaining

4-Depression

5-Acceptance

so since i've gone through all of the above listed stages... does that mean that i'm *done*? i've accepted what's *most likely* going to happen so now can i just... move on?