asexual

"Lacking interest in or desire for sex."

yup, that's me. i am officially "asexual". i will never be with another woman or man again as long as i live. i will never allow another person to be close to me. if you know me online that's pretty much as close to me as you're going to get because the whole "in person" thing? it just ain't happenin'. i have been ruined. i don't trust anyone anymore and i really don't feel like working on that. i'd much rather just be me and kensie and not ever allow another soul into our lives. and when she grows up? i'll just get some cats or something. seriously, i don't want any friends, love interests... nothing. i'm not straight. i'm not bi. i'm not gay. i'm just a hollow shell of the person that i once was and the person that i could possibly be. i have been stripped of all the good emotions that i once had and right now, in this moment, i hate everyone. i have no trust for anyone and no love for anyone. katie made sure to take my soul with her when she left. and yes, she's gone for good. she isn't coming back from new mexico and had no intention of coming back in the first place. so that's fine. i won't have to deal with her and her bullshit anymore. and i won't have to deal with anyone else's bullshit anymore either. she's shown me just how ugly and cruel people really are and i want no part of it.