transfer addictions ~ how do i save myself before i o.d.??? please help me...

**sigh** ok, idk if you guys remember or not but earlier this year i had problems with laxatives (dulcolax, specifically) and in the fall of last year (and the summer and spring too i think) i had an addiction to chocolate ex-lax, although i didn't dare admit to that one. well now it seems that i'm addicted to pain pills, nausea suppositories, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills and pain/nausea shots for migraines. (<--some of the migraines are for real, some are not.)

for example: sunday i took (at least) 18 phrenalins which is butilbital + tylenol. and for no reason too except that i hurt ~ inside ~ a LOT! my job is potentially going down the toilet, my girlfriend just left me, i just moved and have a hernia from doing it all by myself, my finances are all gone to sh!t and idk what to do with myself anymore since i can't eat my feelings and since i don't KNOW anyone. seriously, i have NO friends irl. NONE! and yesterday i only (*ONLY!*) took 6 of these but today i've already taken 10 (and it's still early yet...)

i WANT to be okay, i WANT to be healthy ~ and i know what you're going to say "get thee to a therapist... PRONTO!!!" but i can't. my insurance doesn't cover any mental health stuff and i can't afford it on my own and i (currently) make too much money to get on a sliding fee scale.

so... what to do??? please help me. i can't die. i just can't. my daughter would go to my ex who DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HER CORRECT NAME!!!! and that would be the worst thing in the world